People from the Past with Senility and Apologies

I'm trying to feel what part of my body contains or vibrates to the messages of the dreams. I think I can feel it right behind my heart.  That must be a powerful place.

This dream involved two people from the past.  

I was on a train I think.  Or maybe getting off the train.  I saw her.  I smiled.  She did not avoid me but smiled back.  We then started talking and went to an area like a bar or restaurant.  Interesting now that I remember this dream, I am thinking of another dream I forgot about renting and apartment in St. Louis, and a game inside, but that is another dream.

On the way to our seat, I was told that R. J. , my fathers old football roommate at the University of Utah was in the building.   R. went on to be a professional football player.   I think several weeks ago my parents said that he may be having issues related head injuries and age.  Or senility.  Or Alzheimer's.   Anyway, the individual who was pointed out to me was obviously not R.J. because they were young.  Anyway, my old friend and I took a seat.  I don't remember what we talked about, but it must have been pleasant, because either she put her legs on me or I draped my legs over her.

Then I was with another friends father.  The father, who I never met, died last year.  I was talking with him and we went to the place were by other old friend was at.  It was outside and she was sitting down writing me a letter.  I don't remember exactly what the letter said, but it was something like an apology letter to me because of  Donald or Ronald Kirsch.  It real life, she does not know any such person.  And neither to I:-)

Tell Your Truth to the Dog that Bites You. For it is you.

There are a number of interwoven dreams here.  

I was talking to my father I think and told him that I was in contact with the spirit world.  He did not believe me, and nevertheless I manifested the contact.  Even though I did not feel it at the moment that I was in touch with the spirit world, I nevertheless knew that I was in contact, and started a ritual to prove him wrong.

Then I was back to being a lawyer.  But I was in contact with the spirit.  I was with a Judge in a region that vaguely felt like Madison county in that I knew I was not welcome.  There were many books involved.  All over the place, and I was mistaken about them somehow.  The judge was celebrating the death of someone, in the way that they do in this world.  Paying homage to another attorney, telling how he has served the community etc.  I knew I was in another ritual of this world, but it somehow felt false.  I felt like I was an outsider.

The I was with a wild dog, I was somehow interacting with it in a way that felt like I was manipulating it.  After a time, it turned around and went straight after me.  I jumped up, and in the process woke up as it was about to make contact with me.

Here is me telling my truth.  As the shepardess suggested I must do in dealing with the ancestors.  I can go to that happy place near the base of my brain, and find the calm there before I act:

Paranoia is a gift.  It's an indication that we are sensitive to the spiritual realm which is inconsistent with this realm in a variety of ways.  Hence the tension of paranoia.

And at one level, what the paranoia is showing us is real.  So the practice is to honor the gift of paranoia.  Which perhaps is better called heightened sensitivity.  Honor it, but realize in this realm, the creatures play by different rules. and even though they are flawed and hence we don't trust them, that is what we signed up for by coming to this realm.  So we must be of two minds.  The mind that honors the paranoia, and the mind that has compassion for what it sees, for everyone that we are afraid of or think has bad motives, if part of the divine as well.  They are all us.

So we have a great gift.